Sunday, February 27, 2005


Let's see, where should I start?

Had a couple or things that happened during the week...

1) First off, we must understand that God works in mysterious ways, to use a cliche-ed term... For those who were at Kairos on Wednesday at Emily's place (it was the 23rd of February I believe), you;ll remember how I said I would like to spend more time wih God? Yeah well, guess what, the next morning, one of the senior members in my camp screwed me over the phone for something that I did that was somewhat wrong... It wasn't totally my fault, you have to understand... Some of it was my fault, some of it was his side's fault, and some was just plain miscommunication.

At any rate, you have to understand too, that in the army, you can't just argue back if you feel you had been wronged. So all I could do was to sit there, in front of my computer, and get one of the harshest verbal lashings I had ever received.

Needless to say, I immediately became depressed. Nothing screws your day up more than to have your superior come and give you a scolding early in the morning. I moped around for a bit, then I heard the voice, and I started to pray. I mean, you feel so depressed so early in the morning, the only thing I thought may help was to pray. To pray for strength to carry on, and to pray that I would not lose my temper, which I almost did... Heh... check one for spending more time with God.

Friday, I heard he slammed me again when I was not around, however, by that time, I was kinda impervious to the depression, so I just ignored it.

Now, on Saturday, I had to see the guy face to face. There was a meeting I had to attend, and well, it was inevitable. However, when he spoke to me, it certainly wasn't in a vindictive manner. In fact, he actually provided me with some direction to better facilitate transport issues for the in camp training. For that, I'm grateful to him for being understanding, and grateful to Him for keeping my temper in check. I mean, if I had argued back, I probably would have just made a bad relationship worse. As it is, I think it improved somewhat.

2) Now as others of you know, I also play for the worship band in church. And one of my biggest weaknesses in this area is that I start to become self-conscious when I play, instead of focusing on the One who I'm playing for. Anyway, God answered my prayer again. I had prayed that we would focus on Christ as we played; however, during the service, I fell again, and started to lose focus. Well, He managed to grab me back and focus again when I played a whole chorus for one of the songs in the wong key. So paiseh... Even as a newbie, I had never made such a mistake... I know I was blushing on stage. But then, after that, I managed to play properly, as I tried to remeber that everything is for God.

Isn't that great? God does answer prayers...


Wednesday, February 23, 2005


Well, it has certainly been quite awhile since the last entry, due partially to the fact that my internet was down for a couple of weeks, and thus missing out on several holidays.

Notable events that went past:
1) Chinese New Year - Went visiting as usual, and managed to limit my consumption of snacks. Also managed to pick up mahjong at Jessica's place on the 10th.
2) Stocktake is over - And with no problems too. Now just left the LRI.
3) Valentine's day - Another great Hallmark event. A day in which, if you are attached, you are obliged to spend with your significant other, and which I merely greeted as "Dang. Monday. Army again"

Yeah, the guys were over at my place again on the 11th to play Xbox at night, but this time, our celebrations deep into the night were tempered by firstly, the fact that most of the neighbours were asleep, unlike New Year's Day, and secondly, the fact that we had to travel to the East later that day to go to Tabby's house. After which we proceeded on to Farand's place, which is only over on the other side of Singapore. In the process, Tabby got thrown into the pool (again!) and Sam got addicted to FIFA 2005.

But then, today we (Gerald and me) had a real test of plugging up last minute gaps for the NS battalion. Apparently, through a miscommunication, the bus company had gotten the wrong timing to pick up the guys from Alpha, and I had to activate a few of my boys to trooplift them. Then the Med centre calls, says they got a guy with a fever. So I activate my last available guy to go, and then the S1 branch calls to say a guy jsut came out of the detention barracks, so could we please pick him up. Good thing my last man still hadn't left yet.

But what really irritated me was the part where I said I had no more people to go. I mean, maybe when one of those old school warrant officers say they have no one available, it means they've got 3 guys in reserve. However, when I say I have no one, I really have no one. Why? You think I can just snap my fingers and conjure up another driver for you? You give me a last minute indent, and when I can't support, you whine, as if that would do any good. Thanks to that, my boys' work fell behind schedule, and it means they may have to stay back one of the days in the coming week.

Whew, had to get that out of my system. And it still isn't enough. If I really said what I wanted to say, I would have to serve penance already... haha...

Anyway, I had to re-co-ordinate the bus timings with the company and the 1st Transport Battalion. And all the while, the other trainers were calling in, asking about this rover, and that rover, and this indent, and that tonner... no offense to them, they were just ensuring they got what they needed when they needed it, but seriously, they called at a bad time. I thank God that He helped me to manage the issues one at a time, and was not overwhelmed, and also that I did not lose my temper.

Anyway, I got to go home tonight, cos LRI confirmed coming only in March. Helped Sharon with her essay, it was kinda fun to be able to use back the training I received in JC, and realize that it was not totally lost. Heh. And now I'm writing on my blog...

If the salt loses it's saltiness, what good is it? (Matthew 9:50) This was the passge in the QT book a couple of days ago. Remember that you are a testament to Christ, wherever you go. People will always be watching, and be thinking, "So that's a Christian. Can do like that ar?" Do not bring shame to the Lord through your actions.


Wednesday, February 02, 2005


Was doing QT the other day, and the verse was Acts 26:19, which reads, "Therefore, King Aggripa, I was not disobedient to the heavenly vision." This was spoken by Paul, in the court of one of the Roman rulers of Israel I think.

Anyway, the passage below exhorted us to remember that we should not just start well, but end well too. Which immediately reminded me of a sermon that Pastor Tweeks gave quite a long time ago. In it, he said that not only should we start well, which is simple enough, but that we should also run well, which is certainly harder, and finally, to end well, which, needless to say, requires a certain degree of self-discipline and sacrifice.

I mean, I guess most people can start off well. If you notice, very often, it's the converted who are filled with the fervor of God. So starting off well is well, relatively easy, since they are convicted, with a cause etc etc.

Continuing will be harder. You see, for example, in a war, some leaders work by working their men up to a murderous rage. Then their men can fight all day and a half, with no thoughts of their own safety, to just keep on killing the enemy. But after that, when the tiredness sets in, when they start to slow down, they stop and take check, and their fighting spirit, which was built up so quickly, will also disintegrate just as quickly; a burnout. They've expended all their energy, and will start to feel disillusioned. And that can be a fatal mistake for any Christian to make. To burn so bright, but so fast, like a supernova that lights up the sky, but dies after a few days. Thankfully, our Lord can sustain us, when we're tired, weary, heartbroken, sian... He can take us in, and build us up again.

Finally, to end well. After so long, having served for maybe, 45 years, you start to get complacent, to relax your guard a little, and before you know it, Wham! You've fallen away. King Solomon certainly experienced that. The wisest man on earth, he started great, asking that God give him a gift that would enable him to lead his people in the ways of the Lord. He ran well, becoming rich and powerful, and building the temple of God in all it's splendor, dedicating so much of his wealth and attributing his knowledge to God. But, he fell away; swayed and corrupted by his multitude of foreign wives. Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.

So remember, it's not just part of the race that God is looking at, it's the whole thing.

While we're on about running, can we please have more people come down for the running at Woodlands Stadium? Publicized in Youth min already, but it is rather depressing when only a few people come down. (Usually, it's less than the fingers on a hand. I hope it won't ever come down to the point were me and Frankie sit there, I look at him, he look at me...)