That, personally, is no easy thing for me to do. After all, I did grow up in Singapore, where everything is more-or-less planned out for you, isn't it? Primary school, secondary school, JC or Poly, Army if you're a guy, then Uni.
And even deciding to come to Japan back in 2009, it was very clearly laid out for me, I believe, by God. He provided anything I needed to get up, so it was easy for me to simply 'float' along, to go with the ebbs and flows of life, wherever it guided me.
And then, I find myself where I am at now.
Recently, I spoke to Pastor Ivan (my church's missions pastor) to talk about the near future. I had been thinking about asking for another extension beyond the extra three months that I had already tagged onto my extra year. And it was actually for a good cause. We had a rather large earthquake back in March you see. You might have heard about it, and though it's no longer on the international news, the needs are still as great as before.
So I asked him whether it would be possible to extend longer again. And he told me, that I would not be allowed to, unless I know exactly what I want to do with my life.
And that is the quandary I find myself in.
I have absolutely no idea what I want to do with my life.
Of course, that is not quite correct. After all, it's not really my life. But my quandary still remains, for I have no idea what God wants to do with my life either.
So I spent a day trying to find out what God's will for me was. Still nothing, as far as I can tell. It's just that I've never been particularly sensitive to hearing His voice. Perhaps I should be, but at the moment, I am not.
And so I am still waiting to see what God's direction for me is going to be. I would think He has been closing a couple of doors (and some of them did hurt), but we'll see how things go on from here.
And just as a final thought, if you have about half an hour of time, please watch this video. I found it particularly enlightening, especially with regard to my priorities and my position in this world. But for you, dear reader, you'll have to come to your own conclusions and convictions.