Saturday, December 31, 2005


OK. Finally, after nearly a month of non-stop action, I get to take a short while to write up a full report of what I have been doing the past month. Here goes.

First thing was erm... Let's see... Youth Camp I think. yeah. 5-9 Dec. It was really cool. What witht he whole Roman theme and stuff. Even though I pointed out to F that actually, the thunderbolts painted onto Roman shields which was painted on to the banner were actually representing Zeus... oh well... Here is a shot of my group.

Yeah. They were a really great bunch of people.

After that was the family trip to Perth. Took quite alot of photos there. Here are some.

This one was at the WA Museum of Natural History, I think. If you look carefully, the knife on the right most side of the picture is actually an electric knife dated 1999 A.D. from Perth, Western Australia. Which I found really hilarious.

This one is one of my favourite pictures. It's really nice. It's like you can see the beauty of God in this shot. It was taken from the DNA tower which looks like...


Perth nightlights. I only had a 2 second exposure max for my camera, so this is the best I could get. Ah well...

This is one of the shots from the plane window. I was fortunate to get a window seat during the flight back. Looks like some kind of snow covered land, but it's the clouds. Strangely enough, I think about 1/3 of the shots I took were on the flight back.

And this.

And this.

And this. OK ok... so it's getting a bit monotonous... right... I'll get on with it.

Got my results back. I got only a 3.5 CAP. Such a bummer. No As at all. 3 Bs, 1 B+ and 1 B-. Really quite a bummer. But it could have been a whole lot worse. And I'm grateful to God for that.

I really am grateful to God for many things. Chief among them is that He hasn't sent a thunderbolt to zap me into a pile of ash yet, though I've done so many things wrong that I would have zapped myself. haha. Indeed, His patience and mercy never runs dry.

Anyway, I had 1 Christmas dinner and 2 lunches. And I played for Christmas service, so I didn't really get to take alot of Christmas photos. But it's ok, cos that's not what Christmas is about anyway. It's all about Christ coming down to save us. You know like how they like to say that Christmas is all about giving? Well, it's only partially true. It's really about God giving to save us all. And that's the only thing Christmas is about. Pastor K gave a sermon, and in it, he talked about how some library in the US told a lady that if she wanted to put up an ad for her church Christmas service in the library, she had to take out all images of Joseph, Mary, the 3 Magi, and Jesus. So what you would end up with is a picture of the farm. Like. Wow. So much for freedom of expression eh? And notice how all the Christian festivals have so many secular connotations now? Like just take Christmas. There's the Christmas tree, Santa Claus, Candy Canes, presents, Christmas Cards... like what's up? Not that it's wrong to have all those things, but it's almost like someone's trying to take attention away from what Christmas really is... anyway, I think I shall stop my ranting. Haha. I'm just glad that God came down to save our souls. If not, for sure, I would be burning in hell when Judgement Day comes.

Are you ready for Judgement Day?

Had no Christmas dinner on Christmas Day itself, but I did invite L, YL and S over, cos there was some miscomm in their CG and they got seperated.

OK. Then on 26th, after family Christmas lunch number 2, I went over to YL's place to help paint the room. She was re-doing it. Then on 27th, I went to Sentosa to help out in the PRC immersion program which VCF was doing. Yeah. Scholars from China. And yes, they were so desperate for helpers that they were willing to get me to help out, despite the fact that my Chinese isn't exactly the best of my languages. haha.. It was somewhat rained out though, but I think the PRC chaps had some fun, so we can thank God for that. heh.

And then 28-30 was the YEFC. It was fun to have a get together of all the 'older' youths and have some training together, even though I was auxiliarized along with J, F and WX during the toughest part, so we didn't really get to bond so much with the rest of the guys. And I didn't get to take many photos. Bleah. The best one was from F, as usual. Here it is.

He edited it, of course. The camp was really good. And since we are all leaders, we need to be aware of some stuff. Like temptations leaders face. For me, I think it was the popularity vs respect one, and the peace vs constructive conflict. Those would probably be my biggest temptations.

Nothing much left to the month. At the moment, it's about 22 hrs and 37 mins to the new year. I just managed to get 2 more mods for my next sem. I tell you, CORS can be a real bother, esp if you're a total newbie. Ah well.

This is not everything that happened. Lots of other things as well. But I'm tired.

Back to important question from this post:


Thursday, December 22, 2005


I have to do this to make MS happy... the silly girl... she arrowed me... bleah...

Rules of the game:
1. Post 5 weird/random stuff about yourself.
2. At the end, list the names of 5 people whom you want next to do this, and leave a comment "YOU ARE TAGGED!" in their blog and tell them to read your blog for rules.

1. I wanted to be a garbage collector when I was a kid. This was cos in the USofA, the garbage truck would come by, and there would be this guys hanging off the back of the truck, and when they were nearing a dust bin, they would jump off, run ahead (the truck was going at like 5km/hr or something) and they would grab the dust bin, wait for the truck to go nearby, toss the trash into the back of the dumpster, replace the dust bin, and then run, and hop onto the back of the dumpster. And I thought that was so cool.

2. I also thought it would be really cool to be a pilot. Comes from watching Star Wars and Top Gun too many times. Then I realized I could cause myself to almost wet my pants when driving a Land Rover at 20km/hr. Then, I knew I was never meant to be a flyer.

3. I enjoy eating durian, but my brother absolutely hates it. As a result, I don't like to eat durian, cos everytime I eat it, I have to brush my teeth like 3 times and wash my hands twice. And when I go back into our room, he still can smell the thingy. The amount of cleaning I have to do is just not worth it.

4. I like to bake. Though I have yet to progress on to more advanced projects, I can bake some things. And I haven't gotten diaroea... no... diarrhea... no diarohea.. oh heck... you get the idea. Yeah. I haven't gotten that D-thingy from eating my own baking.

5. I can't spell the D-word properly. Can you?

For all you fortunate people out there, I shall not bother you with this mundane issue. unless you see it and want to do it yourself. Just don't come and tag me again.

Tuesday, November 29, 2005


I still remember what I was doing one week ago. I was studying in the Central Library, prepping for my Japanese Language paper the next day. And it was one of my less hoard-ish moments, cos that afternoon, I had gone to the co-op to buy a packet of Pepperidge Farm mini chocolate chunk cookies. It was one of my less hoard-ish moments. But also due to the fact that M agreed to share the cost of the thing with me. And at around 5.30 in the evening, I received a call from MS. It went something like this, to the best of my memory:

*Phone vibrates. (Cos I'm in the library, and it's polite to keep one's phone on silent in the library)*
Me: *presses green 'call recieve' button
MS: Hi! I'm MS.
Me: ......? Hahaha... what kind of greeting is that?!
MS: *makes perplexed noise* er... nevermind. Is M coming to arts canteen for dinner?
Me: Wait ar. I check. *Turns to M, who's standing nearby, getting ready to go for dinner with J and others* Hey M! you going for dinner now?
MS: *makes gurgling noise*
M: Yeah.
Me: OK. At arts canteen right?
MS: *more gurgling noises*
M: Yeah. Who's that? MS is it?
Me: Yeah. Think she's lonely.
MS: *some more gurgling noises*
M: You coming too?
Me: Nah. Eating dinner at home lah.
M: Alright. See you then.
Me: Yep. *Talks to MS* Yeah, he's going to arts canteen for dinner.
MS: *even more gurgling noises* HOW CAN YOU SAY SO OBVIOUSLY WAN!?!?
Me: But I didn't!

Yeah, it was cos A sneakily bought him a cake, and MS was just making sure he went to the arts canteen so that their ambush wouldn't be wasted. And then later on, after JS came back from her exam, me and P went to go say hi and happy birthday to him.

Well, that was before the start of my exams, and before I came up with my favourite statement of understatement. Which would go like this:

Friend: So how was the paper?
Me: Eh? Hm... It ws ok. I think I can pass.
Friend: *urkle*

Yeah. So anyway, I cleared 4 of my 5 papers across 3 consecutive days last week. Tues, Wed and Thurs. And I also have one lonely exam on Wednesday morning. But I'm cool with that. Cos it could have been on like Wednesday evening, which could totally ruin one's day, as LKC likes to point out to me, since he ended today evening.

At any rate, this morning already got a few birthday sms-es. Then when I got to school, M also wished me happy birthday. And then C, F and Adl came along. They were so nice, woke up real early to buy me a birthday breakfast and give me a present. haha... I've really become quite a sentimental sot... D sms-ed me from Perth, in her typical D speech. Must have cost her a bomb. Then at around 11.30, MS come toodling along, really happy cos her exams are all over. And she plonks down on a seat in front of me. And this is the conversation:

MS: Hi Daniel!
Me: Hi MS!
MS: Studying hard?
Me: *nods* You finished your papers?
MS: *Beams happily* Yes! Just finished!
M: *whispers to MS*
MS: *looks aghast* OH! HAPPY BIRTHDAY DANIEL!!!!
Me: Oh, erm. thanks. heh.
M: Again! How come the other CG's leader knows your members better than you?
MS: Oh. Well, I came specially to the canteen to say happy birthday to Daniel. *looks pleased with herself*
M: *rolls eyes*

Which is really funny, cos M did that to Adl a couple of weeks ago I think. Anyway, it was really fun studying this past couple of weeks with the crazy guys from VCF.

Then I headed over to church to see if there was anything to be done, since youth camp is in a week's time. And I did a few name tags, and did some other dumb things which I should not talk about.

Yeah. It was a pretty fun week. Time to get back to mugging.... mug mug mug...

And I really should be thankful to God, for seeing me through all this so far, and for keeping stress levels for me to a relatively manageable level. And for reminding me to give everything to Him. Heh


Wednesday, November 02, 2005


OK, first things first, happy birthday to R and J, which is still... yes... today, according to my computer's clock. For another 3 minutes at any rate.heh... yep...

Now, on the not so happy things. Today, I woke up early (cos I slept earlier last night) and then had breakfast with family less sister who went to some school camp. (This is a happy thing). Then I went to play a couple of games of Axis & Allies, which for me, being so deprived of PC games for so long, was a major event. I lost the first one (not very happy thing, but it's minor) but totally trashed the Germans in the second game, except that the damn Brits in the game under Monty kept on making me as the Soviet Union do all the dirty work, while they reaped all the rewards the sneaky bums... Like in Kwantung province, I sent my armored unit to attack, but in the final salvo, as I killed that last Japanese infantry unit, he killed my tankie. And with an open territory at their doorstep, the Brits didn't need another invitation to take it without having to fight... (but I won, so it was ok)

Then I went to F's place to do some creation of the cookie kind. Yes. The cookie kind. OK, let's get some things straight. First of, this whole idea was conceived by L and me. Cos she was remarking how she found it cool that I could bake (yeah. I know. Go figure. heh) and I jokingly suggested why don't we go bake together for fun. Why F's place, you may ask? That's cos last time, the two of us were joking about how it was useful to have skills like that to up our coolness factor (I don't know how we came up with that conclusion, but we did) and since bro is prepping for As, I thought might as well go over, and rope him in, and then we could go get some Xbox action. heh.

Anyway, L invited along S and YL and so we all went over. And at first it was pretty ok. Apart from the fact that it was getting a little warm, since as anyone's who's been there will know, his place isn't exactly known for it's ventilation. Yeah. And the mixing was fine. And Aunty S was helpful. And Su took YL off our hands to go trash it out on the 'box first. And the first set of approx 35 cookies was ok. Not as great as Pepperidge Farm, but it wasn't too shoddy either. (Btw, if you want to know why you find Pepperidge Farm Soft-bake Chocolate Chunk cookies so addictive, it's cos they put liquer inside. And perhaps you need help from Alcoholic's Anonymous. Heh.) But the next batch was a true horror. It came out squishy.

Yes. That's right. Squishy.

It was like kinda soggy, and was well, limp, to put it mildly. But we thought it was just a fluke, so we went on for the third round. And I don't know how it could have been possible, but it came out even worse.

Yes. That's right. Worse.

It was even squishier. And I bet if I squeezed all those rotten cookies, I could have matched OPEC's daily quota from the Gulf. And it was really really soft. Not just soft-bake kind off soft. Think peanut butter kind. Able to be spread with a knife. Yech....

The last batch was ok. Yeah. Strangely enough. Perhaps it was because in desperation, we refridgerated the last batch before we put it on the tray. Or maybe because Su helped out in the oven bit. I dunno. But they came out edible. Not to say those previous sets weren't edible, just that the sight of them would probably make you want to stay off cookies for the next 10 years of your life.

Anyway, possible theories espoused by the local experts (read Aunty S and my mum) include:
1) The dough had melted too much while we waited in between batches, and thus had become too soft to be good.
2) The oven settings were not appropriate for the cookies.
3) We put too much butter.
4) The butter used was of a more oily kind, and coupled with 3), would have led to the problem.

But anyway, doesn't this really sound like something. We face failure all the time. It happens. And it could be due to lack of experience, delayed use of materiel/ideas etc. It's just like in life. How we so often fail God. Like just a simple example would be that I haven't done my QT yet, though for the whole day, I had ample time to complete it. And that's just the tip of the iceberg of fallacy.

Then there are people who tell you what's wrong, and give suggestions, but you think you know better and don't listen. But sometimes, what you really need is external help to complete the task. Or more macro-ly, the race of life.

Think about that.


Monday, October 31, 2005


Got this really nice poem on Thursday during VCF on the song sheet...

by Annie Johnson Flint

God hath not promised skies always blue,
Flower-strewn pathways all our lives through;
God hath not promised sun without rain,
Joy without sorrow, peace without pain

But God hath promised strength for the day
Rest for the labour, light for the day.

Grace for trials
Help from above,

Unfailing sympathy.

Undying love.

It's soooooo cool.... heh... so powerful

Really nice. It's like that photo of the airplanes below. I don't know why it's so nice, but I find it really really really nice.

OK, I'm beginning to sound like one of those kind of girls... creepy.... hahaha....


Saturday, October 29, 2005


C wished me a happy birthday today. Notwithstanding the fact that it is a little early, and that I've been telling her the wrong dates in Nov for a while... heh... It's the thought that counts, I guess.

I'm a little bummed out cos I've got the beginnings of a sore throat. You know, when you get that feeling that there's something gritty at the back of the throat, and you want to cough it out, but you can't and every time you swallow, you feel irritated? Yeah. I got it. Such a bother. And in my efforts to try to destroy the irritant behind it, I have been consuming unhealthy amounts of Strepsils and Nin Jiom Pei Ba Koa candies. Which do work for a while. Though R told me that eating 8 of each in a day is bound to be bad for health. Yeah. I hope I haven't reached the stage where the 'mild laxative effect' becomes reality...

Anyway, managed to suddenly get alot of sources for Sino-Japanese Relations. Thank you God for helping me. I tell you, the internet can be one of the most frustrating things at times.

Yeah. That's about it. Bother the sore throat. And me having to play for service this weekend too. bleah. (the sore throat, not the playing for service. I like playing for service. But I don't like the sore throat. So I said bleah regarding the sore throat, not the playing for service, because I like playing for service, but not with a sore throat. I mean I still don't mind playing for service with the sore throat, but I just don't like the sore throat, and I think I'm going around in circles. Just so you understand. heh.)


Thursday, October 27, 2005


I've got two projects left to do. One on Japanese Studies, and one for European Studies. And thinking of having to reasearch for the things is so bleah, if you get what I mean. Like for my JS mod, my group is looking at Yokohama's Chinatown, and thee Sino-Japanese relations there. Then compare it with other major Chinese centers in Japan, and then compare it on a chronological scale. It's not that it's very stress or anything, but sometimes, the internet is so frustrating. yech..... And I don't know how to use the NUS library system thingy. So ma fan. (I would have written this in Chinese, but it comes out as symbols, so it looks like I'm cursing. haha. It wouldn't be too far wrong... heh heh...)

Also, I've got to do Alpha Class with R from VCF. And what I'm afraid of is that I may screw up the BS, cos as quite a lot of you know, I'm not exactly the most eloquent of people. Esp when English is not R's strongest language. First round seemed ok. Just hope he wasn't just being polite when he said he understood what I meant, like D back in Japan. That was a real bummer after we got back. Ah well. Just means I really need to trust God more for His wisdom. And also means that it was Him who helped R understand yesterday.

Anyway, was looking through some of my photos, since A said she didn't get the pics from me. At first I thought I had burned a set for her, but I guess not, since I was only short 3 CDRs per colour. Meaning I only burned for PJ, G and An. Bleah. It must have totally slipped my mind... And lookie what I got....

Looks suspiciously like the SAFTI bridge, don't you think? heh... and I took this shot too... Pretty good huh...

This here is a pic of the team's footwear at an out-of-the-way train station in a rural-er (or is it more rural?) part of Tokyo. As can be seen, I'm the only one wearing army regulation shoes...

Now this is another nice one. I don't know about you, but I really like this picture. I don't know why. But I think it's a really nice photograph.

Ah well... back to work. Bummer.


Monday, October 03, 2005


".....Brave Sir Robin ran away
Bravely ran away away.
When danger reared it's ugly head, he bravely turned his tail and fled.
Brave Sir Robin turned about and gallantly he chickened out.
Bravely taking to his feet he beat a very brave retreat.
Bravest of the brave Sir Robin"

-Excerpt from The Ballad of Sir Robin

Haha.... Just finished watching Appleseed not too long ago... it's so cool! And it's a serious show too... hahaha... and the box is one of those kinds where when you angle light onto it, it refracts it, so you get lots of nice colours!! Whee!!!

Cheap thrills... haha


Sunday, October 02, 2005


I haven't played acoustic guitar for worship for quite awhile. OK, I know I played for Heavenward early last month... But they didn't depend so heavily on the acoustic guitar. This weekend, of the 6 songs they want to do, I think I have to start for 5 of them... and my fingers are hurting already!!! AUGH!! I'm weak! But my fingertips really hurt... I always get this nasty thought that halfway, as I'm playing, my skin will give way, and my fingers will start bleeding... eeeee.... fingers.... pain...

Ah well...

The other thing is that last month I spent quite a bit of money on presents and stuff. So many people I know turning 21 this year... (no, it's not a coincidence that I'm also turnig 21 this year)... and this month there's going to be more of them... plus one of my men is going to get married. And I've got to get him something too... and is brother's birthday too... ack... wallet... pain....


Sunday, September 25, 2005


Have an English language project due this coming week. And part of my report is with relation to distributional frames. Which is a problem. I mean, I understand what they are. But how do I convert it into my report? Bummer...

Which leads me to the next point. Should I major in English or History? Bummer...


Monday, September 05, 2005


Been exactly a month since I last keyed in something. Really had no impetus to add another entry. But now I do.

Anyway, I've started school a few days after the previous entry. Managed to get myself a four-day week, a whole bunch of new friends (mainly from VCF), and a new laptop, upon which I am currently typing out this entry. It looks like this:

Yeah, anyway, it is a Macintosh. Here's to your dreams of a Windows empire, Bill Gates! hahaha... what?!?! It can't run that many games? Whaddya mean it can't..?!? NOOOO!!!!!!

Nah. I really like my iBook. It's so cool. Heh... I've converted already....And it can even run the Microsoft programs like Word and Excel... Whee!!!

Anyway, rubbish aside, I've yet to fully settle into the study mood, but I have learnt some pretty valuable lessons.

First off, I discovered that I was seen as a rather cold person. Which, I felt, was strange, since I don't exactly snub people. Though I am a bit shy, which may have been mistaken by others as being cold. (of course, it could also be that my wish to appear un-shy manifested itself in my being cold.) And no, I have the same body temperature as any other normal human... I can almost see that thought forming up in Justin's, Jie's or my brother's mind...

Next, I found out that I'm actually pretty good at baking. Haha... yes... Seriously. Other than eating the cookies I've done so far, the biggest kick I get is telling people that I did bake it as they bite one. The look of incredulity/fear in their eyes is worth the hours I invested. Haha... but don't worry. So far no one has gotten diarrhea...

And finally, I've learnt that I've not exactly been a good steward. We keep on saying that we can touch the lives of others through our daily living, but when that becomes the reason for not directly telling others about the true love of Christ, then something is seriously wrong. Thanks alot Sam, for the jolt back to reality. Time to change something.

Anyway, this week is the school holiday week for all non-tertiary institutes, which has been a lie ever since I was still enjoying such privileges, since most of the students go back for even longer hours, in the so-called "preparation" for major exams... bah... might as well they cancel the holidays and add it to the end of year hols... haha...

Will be going for All Asia EFC conference on Wed and Thurs. Yeah. Sounds like fun. I could have played during the conference, since my church is handling one day's worship, but I dont have holidays then... bummer....

Ah well...


Friday, August 05, 2005


I want to watch this show.

Friday, July 29, 2005


I can only thank God, for granting me the opportunity to take the modules I applied for.

But for all the info and support all the way there, I thank God for my parents. And also for my friends. Adeline, Cheryl, Lai, Wilson, Wangster, Gerald, Shaun, Sam, Derek, Grace, Grace, and Emily, who helped me at the last minute. (Don't think I missed out anyone)



I've always wondered how to post pictures on the site, and I guess this is as a good a shot to try it out.

Hope it works.

By the way, if it does come out, it should show a shot that was taken at Odaiba.


Friday, July 15, 2005


And so they set off, on a journey that most likely had to be conceived in a moment of insanity. Braving the elements of nature, the weary band trudged on, through the oceans of green, where the blades of were as sharp as they were tall; surviving the scorching sun as it beat down mercilessly throughout the day, while intense heat radiated off the very ground they stood upon; pressing on, despite the physical injuries...

Well, ok, so the physical injuries were only a few blisters, several sore muscles, and one bad case of abraision, but hey, we did manage to walk from Choa Chu Kang to Kranji Dam.

And it was a wonderfully sunny day too. From Monday till today, it has rained everyday, except for Wednesday, when we were engaged in this hare-brained scheme. Talk about blessings...

Anyway, I found it quite fun (sign of mental instability), especially at the Lim Chu Kang road area. By nature, the surrounding land is all open ground. Or at least, it lacked the jungles (both ecological and concrete) that are common to Singapore. As a result, it was possible to see the whole expanse of the azure sky, with the almost blinding white of the clouds reflecting the brilliance of the sun. You could see the dark forests on the horizon, marking a clear boundary between the blue of the sky and the green of the fields.

Another one was at the endpoint, at Kranji Dam. There, after all the walking we did, with the heat and the traffic, as well as noise and smoke that came with the package, we found an oasis of calm.

Seems like a parrallel to living doesn't it? You go through life, with it's ups (marvellous scenery, rest points, fellowship with friends) and downs (heat, the bashing through the 2-meter high grass, blisters), but if we remain focused on the goal, we will finally be able to attain our rest...


P.S. For full documentary on the trip, including situations like the Frisbee Foul-up, or Rambutan Robbers, please ask any of the team members, i.e. Jabez, Frankie, Yoke Yee, Emily, Justin or me.

Monday, June 27, 2005


How is it that I treat other people nicely, but they don't even remember what I did? How is it that I try to serve others as the Bible teaches, yet they seem to take all my efforts for granted? How is it that when others do the same things as me, they get the notice and gratitude, but I get nothing? How is it that I spend so much of my time, energy and money to make other people happy, yet I don't even get one word of thanks?

How is it that I can be so bitter over such a small thing?

I guess it started easily enough. I saw someone in need. I realized I had the ability to help that someone. So I helped that someone. Simple enough, right?

But then, when you throw in pride, expectations, and jealousy, you open up a whole new perspective to what should have been a simple act of Christian love. And it isn't exactly a good perspective.

The idea of a labour of love, is that it is done by Christians, precisely because Christ had already demonstrated that to us on the cross. He saw we needed His love and salvation. He realized He had the ability to provide us with that love and salvation. So He gave it to us. I mean, all it took was HIS LIFE!!!

And because He had shown that act of love to us, therefore as followers of Christ, we should be doing that to. our act of love should be as a response to what He did for us. Not as an action hoping for a favourable reaction.

And I guess somewhere along the way, I lost that original idea, and came up with a warped variant of it.

Thank God for my devotional, which reminded me that "The person who serves selflessly, lovingly, without complaining, and WITHOUT SEEKING RECOGNITION is highly regarded in the kingdom of God." And also the prayer of St. Francis, which goes somewhat along the lines of "Lord, grant that I may seek to comfort rather than to be comforted; to understand, than to be understood; to love, than to be loved."

And I guess it snapped me back to the simple concept of helping someone because someone needed it, and you could provide. To do so simply because you love the Lord our God.

It'll be hard for me, certainly. What with that arrogance that comes from being an officer... But the first step on the road to recovery has always been to be able to identify the main issue, and well, it's a start.

And just possibly, I might be able to lose that bitterness which has been building up.


Wednesday, June 22, 2005


I wonder why, I wonder why
I wonder why I wonder
I wonder why I wonder why I wonder why I wonder
-Richard Feynman

Sometimes, I do wonder why I do the things I do. What motivates me to run all over Singapore to meet my personally set schedule? Is it personal responsibility? Moral obligations?

Talking about moral obligations, lets have an analogy. Let's say I have to meet someone. Now, in order to meet someone, I have to run halfway across town to be at the appointed place at the appointed time. This means that as a result, I can't do all that I want to do. And it's not as if I'm meeting the person to do something I want to do. I'm meeting the person out of 'duty'. However, if I do make it down on time, the other person will feel better, because, well, that's what making an appointment is all about. But also because it provides psychological support to the other person. And when ever my friend feels happy, I feel happy. So as a result, I'm willing to rush halfway across town, and not do the things I want to do.

Now, in such a case, does obligation hold true here? Especially since the word obligation, when pre-fixed with the word 'moral', implies that one is doing something because he has to, not because he wants to. But since I can gain satisfaction out of making the other person happy, it means that I want to do the so-called 'obligation', so ultimately, the word 'obligation' becomes rather moot, doesn't it?

Please ignore the above ramblings of a person who has an excess of time in his hands, and not enough things to do to keep him occupied. Which should change in just slightly over a month.

And by the way, the above analogy has nothing to do with any of the weird things I've done so far. It's just an analogy. And I was wondering.


Monday, June 13, 2005


In Matthew 7:13, 14, we hear words we are familiar with. "Enter through the narrow gate.For wide is the gate and broad the road to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it."

Now, perhaps it was because I heard it so many times that it had lost whatever significance it ought to have had on me. But it was only this morning, while listening to music in church that i finally noticed what it meant. Strangely enough, the song was 'Narrow Way to Heaven', done by the Apologetix, a spoof of 'Stairway to Heaven' done by Led Zeppelin or some other rock band. And then it dawned on me.

In this world, it's so easy to follow our own desires. To do what will give us the maximum amount of pleasure in the least amount of expenditure of effort. To do what 'We' want, not what others want, not even what God wants. And that is why the path to destruction is so broad. It's easy to just follow along, happily living the temporal, only to find that at the end of a series of false 'highs' you find not the 'high of all highs', just hell. It's so hard to live a life for Christ. It seems that we don't have any 'fun', are so strict on ourselves, are so 'priggish and pious' in our religion, but that's what we are called to do; to follow the standards that Christ has set. And it's definitely not a walk in the park, what with us being bombarded with 'independence and individuality'. Hence the narrow way.

That is when we have to make the choice.

The other thing about the verse that struck me is that it said, "...broad is the road to destruction, and MANY enter through it." It said MANY people are going down that path to self-destruction, where they will be destroyed. And what are we doing about it?! That verse is also a challenge to get off our bums and start earning our keep in the kingdom of heaven.

Let's lock and load.


Monday, May 23, 2005


Stupid stupid stupid.

I don't know why I thought as I did, or why I did what I did, but I did do it. In my impetousness and foolishness, I did not think of the consequences, did not think about how the other party would feel, but merely barged ahead with what I had to say.

Perhaps that single mindedness ought to have given me sufficient warning that something was amiss. Such focus and determinationcould mean that I had received a real calling from God. But when you consider what it was I wanted to say, it would have been obvious to the most dull-witted person around that it was not God-breathed, and this meant that it was birthed of the foul deceiver.

And the wonderful result of my idiocy was that I managed to hurt someone I held dear to me. One of the people I know I can depend on, one whom I know I can confide in, and in my selfish short-sightedness, I took away the support I should have given, and struck her.

How is it that I could have allowed such a lapse in my guard, to allow the insidiousness of the evil one to infiltrate so easily, and even then, how could I have allowed myself to become a tool in his cursed hands, and give my beloved sister reason to grieve?

Stupid stupid stupid

Wednesday, May 18, 2005


It's been a while since I last put up a post, and during that period between, I managed to go to Japan and return. And I must admit, although I came back home early this morning, I already miss the place.

What can I say? I know I'm suffering from post trip syndrome already. And knowing it doesn't make it any easier to bear. Even though we were on a mission there, I managed to have quite a good time. And I can safely say that my faith in God has increased dramatically, which is a lot for a skeptical Christian. (Quite an oxymoron that, innit?) I have learned to trust Him in all that I do, and to know that whatever happens, it is due to His incomparable wisdom.

One of our goals was for at least one person to accept Christ while we were there. It was amazing, but we managed to achieve 5 times as much. And though we lived with each other for about 2 weeks, team unity was still maintained. Pretty neat huh.

We stayed with the Lau family over there, the missionaries from our church. They were excellent hosts, providing us witth everything we may have needed, and then some. Without them, I think we would have caused more confusion and stuff than anything.

We met up with some of the local churches there, and helped them a spot in their ministry. It was really good to see that Christianity is able to start making a niche in Japan, however small it may be. We met friends also, Shion and Hitomi, Ando, Yuji, Mayumi, Emiko, Kaita... plus of course, there was the Lau family, Uncle Louis and Auntie Chris, Justin and Jeremy.

Oh yeah, before I forget, this is the team, in case I haven't mentioned it yet. Jabez was team leader, Angela was the Food and Worship IC, Aggie was Prayer IC, Jan was in charge of Logistics, Grace was the secretary, and Sulwyn was the Treasurer. Just like a 7-men section...

Anyway, we went around tracting, acting out mimes, sharing... etc... the street musician idea failed pretty miserably, partially due to it being out of fashion, and also due to my own ineptness... ah well... If not, I daresay we did help out in the work that needed to be done over there, even when we somehow managed to squeeze in time to act like tourists somewhere along the way...

It's a lovely country, and we were able to enjoy alot of the wonders of the place, due to the clear air, the train windows, and the friendliness and hospitality of the people... I really can't put it down in words lah...

Anyway, most, if not all of us are presently suffering from post trip syndrome, which was why we had to meet up just now for movie, and also why right now I'm feeling a spot depressed... such a bummer... Some more tomorrow I have to go back to camp to work... sian...


Friday, April 29, 2005


One of the things I really cannot stand is hypocrisy. I mean there are many other things, like injustice, being unreasonable, arrogance, backstabbing, people who try to squeeze onto the MRT when others are trying to get out... But hypocrisy really just irks me. I really hate it when people can say one thing, and then 5 minutes later, do something that contradicts what they just said. Like when they say one thing in order to please someone, and then after that guy leaves and another guy comes, you tell him the exact opposite, just to stay in their good books.

And you know what's the worst thing about it, why I hate it so much? It's cos I'm guilty of it too. Bummer...

Anyway, on to brighter things, today is more or less the start of my clearing leave period. I'm in an ORD mood, and this time it's real, not like that time last December when I had to clear some of my excess leave.

Another thing that struck me, was when I was in the bus on the way home, near Cactus Road. I had a half day off today, and I was thinking how great it was to be able to escape from the drudgery that was life in the military, when I saw a military 5 tonner coming down on the opposite side of the road. I saw a flash of yellow on the side of the cab door, and in just the split second it took for the tonner and the bus to pass, I registered the ITC logo emblazoned on the door, and I managed to identify the driver as LCP Rashad, one of my boys. And it made me realize that although I was certainly not fond of army, I realized that I actually cared alot for the vehicles and men that were put under my command. And although I was kind of elated about having finally gotten away from the SAF, that single near instantaneous scene tempered the euphoria with a burst of reminiscence, of all the 30 odd men in my platoon, of all the support they've given to me... No one can ever feel totally happy when leaving the army. There will always be a part that gets left behind with all the memories.


Monday, April 11, 2005


Well, it's been a while since I last logged on to write my essay, due, in no particular order, to laziness, a too tight schedule, and the internet giving a spot of problem...

Anyway, thing is I'm able to write out my memoirs... haha...

Prepping for Japan trip now... Getting a whole lot closer now... And also that means that my week is really quite tight... Days are spent at work, and well, for nights, Monday night is running at Woodlands stadium, Tuesday is free, Wednesday is Kairos, Thursday is Japanese class, Friday is running at Woodlands stadium again, except for 1st Friday, which is JPM. Saturday is Japanese class again, and Sunday is well, quite free...

At any rate, my language skills in Japanese are about the equivalent as my Chinese language skills, which suffice to say, aren't very good. I have managed to learn how to say, "My Japanese is bad" in Japanese, so that's something...

I'm also preparing to ORD liao... haha... planning my leave and off for May and June, looks pretty fun... heh... Though I won't have an understudy... Just couldn't bring myself to force 9DIV side to send a guy to Tuas who lives in Pasir Ris... so now I've got to take the rap for being nice... bummer...

Nothing much else right now, just Mark 14:28. A reminder that Christ will never let us go into a situation without any (in army terms), recon, forward assault troops, covering fire, etc etc... yeah... basically, He'll go before us, as well as be with us, and supporting us from behind, so there's nothing we ever need to be afraid of. Period.


Saturday, March 26, 2005

Via Dolorosa

Down the Via Dolorosa in Jerusalem that day
The soldiers tried to clear the narrow streets
But the crowds pressed in to see
The man condemned to die on Calvary

He was bleeding from a beating there were stripes open His back
And He wore a crown of thorns upon His head
And He bore with every step
The scorn of those who cried out for His death

Down the Via Dolorosa called the Way of Suffering
Like a lamb came the Messiah Christ the King
And He chose to walk that road out of His love
For you
For me
Down the Via Dolorosa all the way to Calvary

Por la Via Dolorosa triste dia en Jerusalem
Los sol da dosle abrian pa so a Jesus
Mas la gen tle a cer caba
Par a ver al que ila ba aquel La Cruz

Por la Via Dolorosa
Que esla Via Del Do Lor
Como ove ja vino Christo Rey Senor
Y fue el quien qui so ir por su a mor
Por ti Y
Por mi
La Via Dolorosa
Al Cal Var io a mor ir

The Blood that was shed
For the souls of all men
Made it's way to the heart
Of Jerusalem

Down the Via Dolorosa called the Way of Suffering
Like a lamb came the Messiah Christ the King
And He chose to walk that road out of His love
For you
For me
Down the Via Dolorosa all the way to Calvary

Monday, March 21, 2005


Was reading Habakkuk 2:1 just the other day, and it was about keeping on our watch, to see what the Lord wants us to do or say; about how we have been appointed sentinels for our all those we know. And what he says rings true with what Pastor Ivan preached today.

In order to hear what God wants us to do, we have to be spiritually sensitive to His will. I mean, if we're not, it's quite possible that we won't hear what he has to say to us. After all, this isn't exactly a world without distractions...

If we keep our watch, we can be a blessing to those around us, since God knows how we should help others. Which is an advantage. If we don't, we miss the chance to help another needy person, or lose out on God's words. Just as an example as to how bad it could be to not maintain your vigil, any Roman legionary found asleep while on guard duty was beaten to death by his section mates... Guess you know now how important maintaining your watch is, both for others, as well as for your own immunity from the stick brigade....


Monday, March 14, 2005


Well, it's been kinda of a long week, since i last entered Duty last week. Been quite a while, cos I have been rather tied down with work and other stuffs. Like from Monday to Wednesday, I stayed back late at work cos my boys were going OT to prep for the LRI. (Logistics Readiness Inspection, for the uninitiated). And I must really say that although a lot of the work done was somewhat last minute, it was worth it, since the Staff Sergeant from the team said we were deinitely not going to get a D grading, which is the lowest possible grading. Kudos also to my Dy FM, Gerald, for helping with alot of the admin work, and being so focused, something i find very hard to do... Yup, without him, I can safely say we prob would have gotten a D.

Anyway, the Inspectorate came over on Wed, and checked and checked. We almost failed a portion, but just barely scraped through by the skin of our teeth (heh... army term which I picked up in BB).

Anyway, there wasn't much else that happened during working hours, 'cept that Monday stayed back late, Tuesday stayed back late, Wednesday stayed back late ( which was why i couldn't go over to Cheryl's place). Thursday had class in church with Yoko-sensei and gang, Friday went running and took care of the kiddies.

Saturday morning, went to meet Frankie, Father Chai and Josh for badminton in the morning. Couldn't get a spot at Gombak, so we went up to Woodlands, and managed to play for awhile. I must admit, that to call my playing atrocious, would be a gross understatement, but that is not something you need to know.

We headed over to church after that, to engage in martial conflict in Emily's Wild War Wet... Wasn't too bad. It ws a hot day, and I guess most of the youth had a great time running all over the field in a typical Youth Min game i.e. one that involves lots of waterbombs.

Then this was where my temper flared back up. One of the guys from one of the other teams came over to attack out HQ. Which is the object of the whole game, so that was pretty normal. However, as he ran off after using up his ammo, he saw our waterbombs on the floor, and purposely stepped on one. Then he looked up and saw me staring at him, before he ran away. Since I'm a rather phlegmatic sort of guy, I just let it slip.

Then a while later, he came back again. This time, he threw his waterbombs, then promptly grabbed two of ours. Angela of course saw it, and told him in a firm voice that those were our waterbombs. By that point of time, he had already thrown one at one of our team mates. Angela then continued, and told him to return the waterbomb.He obliged by hurling it back at us. Of course the bomb exploded, what with such good waterbomb manufacturers in my group... Anyway, that totally pissed me off. It wasn't that red blinding rage that came over, more of a sort of cold calculation that he needed to be taught a lesson. So as he ran away, I broke into a run after him, and hammered one waterbomb right into his back. He shouted back, "Pain lah! What, you think you playing basketball ah?" (I had jumped and thrown, sort of like in handball? Ya.) So anyway, I just ignored him, and walked away. Sort of like telling him, "Don't screw around with me."

Anyway, the point of the whole narrative above is not about the punk. It was about me, losing my cool, and taking matters into my own hand. The punk needed to be taught a lesson, I shouldn't have given it to him like that. I mean, I could have just grabbed him and made a scene, like what my father does sometimes, really embarassess the heck out of the target. Or something like that. The violence I exhibited would not have been edifiying to anybody, God the least of all. I mean, what if the guy was a prebeliever or something? One more soul lost due to a rash action on my part. Once again, letting my temper go unchecked could have had a really bad consequence.

Also, I realized that after I entered the army, it's easier to become angry. Like today, almost lost my temper, this time on a friend. He's a great guy, knowledgable in God's Word, and he can be really encouraging when you need encouragement. Unfortunately, this time, I almost broke my frinedship with him. (Spiritual attack perhaps? He had just shared with me some stuff that was really edifying.) Anyway, what happened was that I was sitting with him, and two other friends. One of these other friends is the kind that is fun to make fun of. So anyway, I was teasing her, then she hit me, and then you know, we just started to 'ka chiao' each other, then I flicked my finger at her, and she complained loudly, as she usually does. :) Then the guy told me, I shouldn't hit a girl, which is normal. Then of course, in my whiny voice, I complained that she started it. I mean, this sort of bantering goes on in Youth all the time, so it was still a normal situation. However, the guy continued, saying that even so, I still shouldn't hit a girl. And he was serious about it. Like as if I did something really bad. I mean, come on man, it's not like I was abusing her or anything. Then we entered into a sort of theological debate, 'cept that I was always wrong.

Of course, apart from the fact that I don't like losing in a debate, he had blown the whole situation totally out of proportion. So by that time, I was in that cold fury mode again. And I guess Sulwyn realized I was not exactly in a happy mood, and she pulled me away with a really lame excuse, but for which I am still deeply grateful.

Anyway, I think my temper is going to be another major problem in the future. I mean, if you read some of my older posts, you will realize that some of them are also dealing with anger management. Which is gonna be hard, since in the army, we were trained to be aggressive. Must've unlocked the hot-headed part of me. And I realize that I am getting angry alot easier. Used to be that I was a really laid-back guy. Dunno if it's good or bad. If it goes overboard, it would hardly be a good testimony to Christ, now would it?


Monday, March 07, 2005


Well, yes, here I am again, doing duty on a lovely Sunday... It really is quite a bummer, especially since I'll much rather prefer to go to church then to sit in the Ops room doing nothing... It doesn't help either, That I've managed to read my new Chinese comics as fast as I usually read my English novels, i.e. I had finished reading Slamdunk Books 12-15 by about 1700 hrs today... Such a bother...

Oh well, it could have been a whole lot worse. Just that my lack of reading materials is making me a bit grumpy...

Went to church on Friday and Saturday already... I guess I made a name for myself as a professional paper-plane-folder... And it appears that I'm finally old enough that the kiddie's parents tell them to "Say thank you to uncle"... I mean... kao eh, I'm only 20 leh...

Saturday got to play bass for Yachad, who managed to pull duty for the contact time. But the duty is not quite as sian as the one I'm doing now. It was actually quite enjoyable, and I actually looked forward to it. I've got another 3 more camp duties though. Is bad in that it's 3 more. It's good in that after those 3, I ORD!!!!! Muahahahaha.... I'm going bonkers already...

Yeah, well, so anyway, had a great time of worship, just singing and praising... It was awesome man...

One thing about the band is that since my bro had to pull out cos A levels, I've had to cover his bass position. As a result, my bass has improved, but I think my acoustic is totally gone... haha... oh bother...

Anyway, poor Jiehuai is out at the SAFTI demolitions range today... yep... Ximin, if you're reading this, go and practice your maths. Yongling, if you're reading this, go and eat your dinner. And Jess, if you're reading this, remember to think positive.

Anyone else reading this? Heavens, you people must really be bored...


Sunday, February 27, 2005


Let's see, where should I start?

Had a couple or things that happened during the week...

1) First off, we must understand that God works in mysterious ways, to use a cliche-ed term... For those who were at Kairos on Wednesday at Emily's place (it was the 23rd of February I believe), you;ll remember how I said I would like to spend more time wih God? Yeah well, guess what, the next morning, one of the senior members in my camp screwed me over the phone for something that I did that was somewhat wrong... It wasn't totally my fault, you have to understand... Some of it was my fault, some of it was his side's fault, and some was just plain miscommunication.

At any rate, you have to understand too, that in the army, you can't just argue back if you feel you had been wronged. So all I could do was to sit there, in front of my computer, and get one of the harshest verbal lashings I had ever received.

Needless to say, I immediately became depressed. Nothing screws your day up more than to have your superior come and give you a scolding early in the morning. I moped around for a bit, then I heard the voice, and I started to pray. I mean, you feel so depressed so early in the morning, the only thing I thought may help was to pray. To pray for strength to carry on, and to pray that I would not lose my temper, which I almost did... Heh... check one for spending more time with God.

Friday, I heard he slammed me again when I was not around, however, by that time, I was kinda impervious to the depression, so I just ignored it.

Now, on Saturday, I had to see the guy face to face. There was a meeting I had to attend, and well, it was inevitable. However, when he spoke to me, it certainly wasn't in a vindictive manner. In fact, he actually provided me with some direction to better facilitate transport issues for the in camp training. For that, I'm grateful to him for being understanding, and grateful to Him for keeping my temper in check. I mean, if I had argued back, I probably would have just made a bad relationship worse. As it is, I think it improved somewhat.

2) Now as others of you know, I also play for the worship band in church. And one of my biggest weaknesses in this area is that I start to become self-conscious when I play, instead of focusing on the One who I'm playing for. Anyway, God answered my prayer again. I had prayed that we would focus on Christ as we played; however, during the service, I fell again, and started to lose focus. Well, He managed to grab me back and focus again when I played a whole chorus for one of the songs in the wong key. So paiseh... Even as a newbie, I had never made such a mistake... I know I was blushing on stage. But then, after that, I managed to play properly, as I tried to remeber that everything is for God.

Isn't that great? God does answer prayers...


Wednesday, February 23, 2005


Well, it has certainly been quite awhile since the last entry, due partially to the fact that my internet was down for a couple of weeks, and thus missing out on several holidays.

Notable events that went past:
1) Chinese New Year - Went visiting as usual, and managed to limit my consumption of snacks. Also managed to pick up mahjong at Jessica's place on the 10th.
2) Stocktake is over - And with no problems too. Now just left the LRI.
3) Valentine's day - Another great Hallmark event. A day in which, if you are attached, you are obliged to spend with your significant other, and which I merely greeted as "Dang. Monday. Army again"

Yeah, the guys were over at my place again on the 11th to play Xbox at night, but this time, our celebrations deep into the night were tempered by firstly, the fact that most of the neighbours were asleep, unlike New Year's Day, and secondly, the fact that we had to travel to the East later that day to go to Tabby's house. After which we proceeded on to Farand's place, which is only over on the other side of Singapore. In the process, Tabby got thrown into the pool (again!) and Sam got addicted to FIFA 2005.

But then, today we (Gerald and me) had a real test of plugging up last minute gaps for the NS battalion. Apparently, through a miscommunication, the bus company had gotten the wrong timing to pick up the guys from Alpha, and I had to activate a few of my boys to trooplift them. Then the Med centre calls, says they got a guy with a fever. So I activate my last available guy to go, and then the S1 branch calls to say a guy jsut came out of the detention barracks, so could we please pick him up. Good thing my last man still hadn't left yet.

But what really irritated me was the part where I said I had no more people to go. I mean, maybe when one of those old school warrant officers say they have no one available, it means they've got 3 guys in reserve. However, when I say I have no one, I really have no one. Why? You think I can just snap my fingers and conjure up another driver for you? You give me a last minute indent, and when I can't support, you whine, as if that would do any good. Thanks to that, my boys' work fell behind schedule, and it means they may have to stay back one of the days in the coming week.

Whew, had to get that out of my system. And it still isn't enough. If I really said what I wanted to say, I would have to serve penance already... haha...

Anyway, I had to re-co-ordinate the bus timings with the company and the 1st Transport Battalion. And all the while, the other trainers were calling in, asking about this rover, and that rover, and this indent, and that tonner... no offense to them, they were just ensuring they got what they needed when they needed it, but seriously, they called at a bad time. I thank God that He helped me to manage the issues one at a time, and was not overwhelmed, and also that I did not lose my temper.

Anyway, I got to go home tonight, cos LRI confirmed coming only in March. Helped Sharon with her essay, it was kinda fun to be able to use back the training I received in JC, and realize that it was not totally lost. Heh. And now I'm writing on my blog...

If the salt loses it's saltiness, what good is it? (Matthew 9:50) This was the passge in the QT book a couple of days ago. Remember that you are a testament to Christ, wherever you go. People will always be watching, and be thinking, "So that's a Christian. Can do like that ar?" Do not bring shame to the Lord through your actions.


Wednesday, February 02, 2005


Was doing QT the other day, and the verse was Acts 26:19, which reads, "Therefore, King Aggripa, I was not disobedient to the heavenly vision." This was spoken by Paul, in the court of one of the Roman rulers of Israel I think.

Anyway, the passage below exhorted us to remember that we should not just start well, but end well too. Which immediately reminded me of a sermon that Pastor Tweeks gave quite a long time ago. In it, he said that not only should we start well, which is simple enough, but that we should also run well, which is certainly harder, and finally, to end well, which, needless to say, requires a certain degree of self-discipline and sacrifice.

I mean, I guess most people can start off well. If you notice, very often, it's the converted who are filled with the fervor of God. So starting off well is well, relatively easy, since they are convicted, with a cause etc etc.

Continuing will be harder. You see, for example, in a war, some leaders work by working their men up to a murderous rage. Then their men can fight all day and a half, with no thoughts of their own safety, to just keep on killing the enemy. But after that, when the tiredness sets in, when they start to slow down, they stop and take check, and their fighting spirit, which was built up so quickly, will also disintegrate just as quickly; a burnout. They've expended all their energy, and will start to feel disillusioned. And that can be a fatal mistake for any Christian to make. To burn so bright, but so fast, like a supernova that lights up the sky, but dies after a few days. Thankfully, our Lord can sustain us, when we're tired, weary, heartbroken, sian... He can take us in, and build us up again.

Finally, to end well. After so long, having served for maybe, 45 years, you start to get complacent, to relax your guard a little, and before you know it, Wham! You've fallen away. King Solomon certainly experienced that. The wisest man on earth, he started great, asking that God give him a gift that would enable him to lead his people in the ways of the Lord. He ran well, becoming rich and powerful, and building the temple of God in all it's splendor, dedicating so much of his wealth and attributing his knowledge to God. But, he fell away; swayed and corrupted by his multitude of foreign wives. Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.

So remember, it's not just part of the race that God is looking at, it's the whole thing.

While we're on about running, can we please have more people come down for the running at Woodlands Stadium? Publicized in Youth min already, but it is rather depressing when only a few people come down. (Usually, it's less than the fingers on a hand. I hope it won't ever come down to the point were me and Frankie sit there, I look at him, he look at me...)


Monday, January 31, 2005


It's been a while since I last wrote in. Due partially to a rather packed schedule, and also, to a certain extent, my own laziness and procrastination...

Well, the past week's been rather hectic, and slightly draining. Was on duty last Sunday, so I missed out on going CG outing to Grace's place. So Monday was normal. Usually, when I do duty, I like to take the next day off, cos when I do duty, I always prefer to sleep next to the phone, which for me, means on the desk, as it means i'm only half asleep, so if the phone rings, I will wake up and answer. Of course, that also means that I don't get a good night's rest. I bet the duty clerks like it if they get a duty officer like me...

So anyway, Monday had an in-processing, which is why I didn't take the day off. So in-pro mainly lah. Nothing much else. Oh ya, got a new guy in, 2LT Gerald. Unfortunately, he's not here to replace me. He's actually my superior, but he just came out from OCS, part of the 54/03 batch, I think.

Yep. Tuesday, my specs just fell apart. I mean like, I was on the train to camp, then I felt my specs was giving me kinda distorted vision. So I took it off, and then when I pulled the arms of the thing, it made a sort of noise, so I pulled again, and it broke...

New specs came in on Wednesday night, just before Kairos. Thursday had Japanese class in church, I think I'm gonna die in that one. Friday, similar to Monday, had exercise at night. Saturday, noon left home liao, going to worship prac. At night got youth band prac, then LCM. So reach home like at 2230 hrs. So half dead. Sunday go church early again.

Yep. But this week, once again, my temper got the better of me again. Probably due to hectic schedule, coupled with stocktaking coming up, and IAD breathing down our necks, and a not-so-good walk with Christ this week, so I was in a rather bad mood on Saturday. So blew some stuff out of proportion. Like, Aggie and me agreed that I would prepare the SHAPE assesment for CG this week, then all through the week, I no time. (Don't say SHAPE, even the worship stuff I wasn't prepared.) So I asked her if she could also help go through, so can back up in case. The her reply was like "Tonight I got something on. Now then you tell me." Which I took as her saying, "So you never prepared lah. Your fault." Which was not exactly true, but SMS don't convey emotions very well, do they?

So anyway, I replied back in a rather nasty manner, which I guess surprised her, cos I don't think she was meaning to be inflammatory in her SMS, and which certainly did not warrant a retort like the one I gave her. So I would like to say I'm sorry for being so mean to you.

Yep, so to those out there, please try to keep your emotions in check when talking, cos you may make a mountain out of a molehill. Or in army terms, to stir shit.


Tuesday, January 18, 2005


Well, last week wasn't too bad. Nothing much happened, if you get my drift. I mean, we got to experience the wonders (read:horrors) of getting two battalions coming in at the same time, damn near killed us off man. Then there were the usual fracas (Is the plural of fracas fracases or fracii?) of last minute indents, and which my guys try to support, even though they hate having to support this sort of last minute things, since it means they are end up running around like headless chickens to please the whims of the upper echelons of the military. (Of course, they aren't always like that lah. Usually they're quite nice about it)

So like I was saying, it really was quite an uneventful week. Saturday went gaming with Daniel Lim, Jiehuai and Farand. Then headed to church for youth band prac. Then on Sunday, something happened. Something unbeliveable, unimaginable, something that caused a great deal of hurt and humiliation... COS I GOT A BLISTER ON THE MIDDLE FINGER OF MY RIGHT HAND FROM PLAYING THE BASS!!!! Augh!! I mean, I don't think I was plucking the string that hard, was I? Oh yeah, and Singapore won the Tiger Cup that night.

Today wasn't too bad either. Went to camp, helped out a bit with the heli ops training... OK, so I just went there and looked at the thing. Then went out to Mobil to settle some payment problem we had on Saturday, then back to camp. One thing that did happen was that I learnt that I really ought to watch my temper a bit.

I mean, most people think of me as a phlegmatic (Is that how it's spelt? I don't want people to think I'm a walking virus or something) sort of person. But today, I really lost my cool when I read a mail sent down from one of the senior trainers that said that the brigade commander was not happy with me for not supplying enough vehicles to the battalion and yadda yadda yadda... The senior trainer in question is not a bad person. In fact, he's been very supportive all the while I've known him, and the mail was not meant to be inflammatory. However, I still blew up over that thing, mainly cos at my end, I thought I was doing the brigade a favour by running around like a headless chicken to get what the brigade commander wanted, and then after that, he complain against me. So anyway, I wrote a mail back, which while wasn't exactly insubordinate, was certainly not terribly polite.

Anyway, I'm also grateful for another senior trainer, who was the voice of reason in the sea of chaos. He cleared up the air with regard to the whole incident, and he quickly calmed the whole situation down with his words of wisdom and clear focus. Certainly made me feel bad about lashing out in anger without really trying to understand the other party.

Yep. That more or less sums up the day. Went to Woodlands Stadium for some exercise with Paolo, Victor, Bethia, Calebs Leow and Leng, Jan and Frankie. Running wasn't too bad, 'cept for the last bit, in which I think I strained a muscle. (More like my entire upper leg muscle group, but that makes me sound like a sissy). Yep. Frankie led the PT after that, and I could only do a bit before that crampy feeling came upon me. You know, the kind where if you move your leg more in a certain direction, you know confirm the muscle will cramp up? Yeah. So I had to "fall out". That's what the amount of exercise I did, or rather, the lack of it, will lead to. Bummer.

Now I'm finishing off, with muscles that aren't quite functioning at 100% thanks to Frankie's regime, so if there are any typos in the entry, please understand. Haha.


Monday, January 10, 2005


Today had a normal day, just that it involved going to church and worshipping heh... Was on ushering duty this morning, so couldn't really get into the jive, if you get my drift, but hey, I think it was pretty ok.

Oh yeah, one more thing about ushering is that I told Susan I'm going to stop. The worship schedule clashes too often with the ushering schedule, and at any rate, I don't think I'm really cut out to be an usher, what with lousy PR skills... haha... Sorry Sulwyn, looks like the Youth Usher team for 2nd week 9AM service is left to you... haha...

Anyway, spent a rather monotonous next couple of hours stoning in church. Thinking back, perhaps I should have gone up to do a proper worship. But anyway, I wandered over to the Civic centre side to pass Grace something. (Actually to drop it off at her place, but no one was home, and I'm not terribly keen on leaving one of my books on someone's doorstep)

Wasn't very hungry during lunch, so passed my coupon to Cheryl, then when to eat some other junk food from behind church. Following which we all headed over to Causeway Point (Again!) to eat ice-cream. Only six of us though. Aggie, Edmund, Jie, Zoey, Rachel and me. A bit sad, since quite a few of our people couldn't make it. But this time Aggie shared to pay, so it wasn't as pocket burning as the previous time. And the apple crumble, while a tad expensive, was really quite good.

Then we went back to church, cos got a meeting. Very short one. I like it that way, not like the ones I have to go to in army, a bit long winded... haha... P. Jabez is really quite focused on what we have to talk about.

Yep, then after that went back. Got a chance to talk to Nemo on the way back, can catch up, since hardly meet. Was tempted to go check out the new MechAssault 2, but she was telling me not to waste money... haha... oh well...

So yeah. Here I am, typing furiously(speed, not temperement) on the comp, getting worried cos my grandfather went to hospital. Bummer... hope he gets well... prob due to the si ham he ate in the char kway teow...


Monday, January 03, 2005


Have you ever experienced an orange time?

Perhaps you are unsure as to what that is. It's that time of the day, when the room is filled with the amber beams of the setting sun; when no matter how much noise there is being made, it still just seems so quiet; where everything seems to slow down, as if the honey coloured light that diffuses through the windows imbues the air with the viscosity of it's descriptive namesake...

It's that time when a sort of sleepy calmness fills the air, sleepy, yet not lethargic, as if there is a call to ignore the rigours of a fast-paced working life, to just sit aside, watch the gently falling dust glinting in the slanted rays of radiance, to marvel at the beauty of the world, to realize that there must be a God who can create all this, and to listen to Him speak... A time to pray... A time to reflect.... To hear that small tiny voice that we so often ignore, preferring to try to do things our way...

Just for you whenever you experience the orange time. Just sit back, unwind a spot, and hear the voice of the Lord calling you back to Him...

I really must be getting old, getting all sentimental like that...



New Year's Eve fell on a Friday this year, and I'm not sure why, but there was no watchnight service, which we all usually attend to have a time of sharing and thanksgiving before heralding the arrival of the new year. And for me, there's lots of things to be thankful to God for.

First off is the completion of both my OCS and JCC courses. The OCC was not impossible to clear, but there had been times when I hadn't quite made the cut last year, and the fear of failure and getting knocked out of course was always hanging over me, like Damocles' sword. JCC was tough too, what with unreasonable instructors and a permanent tendency for the weather to turn bad just as we leave the camp. Especially with the arrogance that all young cadets have, untempered by experience, that left us with no food on the last two days of our survival phase... But through God's grace, me and most of my platoon mates pulled through, albeit with several mishaps and injuries, but nothing major.

Second would be the friends that God has blessed me with. There are so many; Joshua, who's always been a guiding light; Farand, a stedfast supporter; Jess, a mutual shopping kaki; Aggie, who forced me to open up; Yongling, a small girl who's more naggy than my mum; Vera, always bringing a smile to me...etc... like I said, there really are too many to list out in a single entry.

Third would be the CG that has become mine. After Jiehuai decided that he wanted to leave Youth, I was pushed into the leadership position. And while I was apprehensive at first, I thank God for the oppurtunity to be able to lead ArkRoyal. We have even been able to send out Sulwyn and Jan to lead a new Sec 1 CG, and I have full confidence in their abilities and their walk with Christ. Also that they remembered my birthday. Honestly, this is only the second time that people in church remember my birthday. (Previous year also have, but that was sort of marred by the fact that I was leaving for ROC). Really grateful to and for you guys.

And finally, that God has given us protection here in Singapore. Almost everyone by now would have heard of the Earthquake/Tsunami that has torn through South Asia and reached East Africa. Seeing the images of the carnage, I felt that devestation would have been an understatement. Needless to say, the disaster cast a sombre mood over the Christmas/New year period. Death toll as of this morning stood at 150,000 people dead, and it's still rising. In Red Alert, Stalin said,"When one man dies, it's a tragedy. When a thousand die, it's a statistic." And in a perverse kind of way, it is true. However, when you see the picture of a man faced with the 'damned if you do, damned if you don't' choice of saving either his wife or child, the wailing mother discovering the body of her son, the blue fingernailed hand of a dead child sticking out from under a white covering, you can feel the massive sense of loss that these people feel. As Pastor Shern said last night, in Isaiah 55:8 "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the LORD. We will never understand why it happened. All we can do will be to pick up the pieces and continue moving forward, trusting in God.

In remembrance of the victims of the Tsunami disaster, as well as my Grand uncle, who died in his sleep on the last day of 2004.