Blue

It's been a while since I last wrote in. Due partially to a rather packed schedule, and also, to a certain extent, my own laziness and procrastination...

Well, the past week's been rather hectic, and slightly draining. Was on duty last Sunday, so I missed out on going CG outing to Grace's place. So Monday was normal. Usually, when I do duty, I like to take the next day off, cos when I do duty, I always prefer to sleep next to the phone, which for me, means on the desk, as it means i'm only half asleep, so if the phone rings, I will wake up and answer. Of course, that also means that I don't get a good night's rest. I bet the duty clerks like it if they get a duty officer like me...

So anyway, Monday had an in-processing, which is why I didn't take the day off. So in-pro mainly lah. Nothing much else. Oh ya, got a new guy in, 2LT Gerald. Unfortunately, he's not here to replace me. He's actually my superior, but he just came out from OCS, part of the 54/03 batch, I think.

Yep. Tuesday, my specs just fell apart. I mean like, I was on the train to camp, then I felt my specs was giving me kinda distorted vision. So I took it off, and then when I pulled the arms of the thing, it made a sort of noise, so I pulled again, and it broke...

New specs came in on Wednesday night, just before Kairos. Thursday had Japanese class in church, I think I'm gonna die in that one. Friday, similar to Monday, had exercise at night. Saturday, noon left home liao, going to worship prac. At night got youth band prac, then LCM. So reach home like at 2230 hrs. So half dead. Sunday go church early again.

Yep. But this week, once again, my temper got the better of me again. Probably due to hectic schedule, coupled with stocktaking coming up, and IAD breathing down our necks, and a not-so-good walk with Christ this week, so I was in a rather bad mood on Saturday. So blew some stuff out of proportion. Like, Aggie and me agreed that I would prepare the SHAPE assesment for CG this week, then all through the week, I no time. (Don't say SHAPE, even the worship stuff I wasn't prepared.) So I asked her if she could also help go through, so can back up in case. The her reply was like "Tonight I got something on. Now then you tell me." Which I took as her saying, "So you never prepared lah. Your fault." Which was not exactly true, but SMS don't convey emotions very well, do they?

So anyway, I replied back in a rather nasty manner, which I guess surprised her, cos I don't think she was meaning to be inflammatory in her SMS, and which certainly did not warrant a retort like the one I gave her. So I would like to say I'm sorry for being so mean to you.

Yep, so to those out there, please try to keep your emotions in check when talking, cos you may make a mountain out of a molehill. Or in army terms, to stir shit.

Cheerio.

Yay...

Well, last week wasn't too bad. Nothing much happened, if you get my drift. I mean, we got to experience the wonders (read:horrors) of getting two battalions coming in at the same time, damn near killed us off man. Then there were the usual fracas (Is the plural of fracas fracases or fracii?) of last minute indents, and which my guys try to support, even though they hate having to support this sort of last minute things, since it means they are end up running around like headless chickens to please the whims of the upper echelons of the military. (Of course, they aren't always like that lah. Usually they're quite nice about it)

So like I was saying, it really was quite an uneventful week. Saturday went gaming with Daniel Lim, Jiehuai and Farand. Then headed to church for youth band prac. Then on Sunday, something happened. Something unbeliveable, unimaginable, something that caused a great deal of hurt and humiliation... COS I GOT A BLISTER ON THE MIDDLE FINGER OF MY RIGHT HAND FROM PLAYING THE BASS!!!! Augh!! I mean, I don't think I was plucking the string that hard, was I? Oh yeah, and Singapore won the Tiger Cup that night.

Today wasn't too bad either. Went to camp, helped out a bit with the heli ops training... OK, so I just went there and looked at the thing. Then went out to Mobil to settle some payment problem we had on Saturday, then back to camp. One thing that did happen was that I learnt that I really ought to watch my temper a bit.

I mean, most people think of me as a phlegmatic (Is that how it's spelt? I don't want people to think I'm a walking virus or something) sort of person. But today, I really lost my cool when I read a mail sent down from one of the senior trainers that said that the brigade commander was not happy with me for not supplying enough vehicles to the battalion and yadda yadda yadda... The senior trainer in question is not a bad person. In fact, he's been very supportive all the while I've known him, and the mail was not meant to be inflammatory. However, I still blew up over that thing, mainly cos at my end, I thought I was doing the brigade a favour by running around like a headless chicken to get what the brigade commander wanted, and then after that, he complain against me. So anyway, I wrote a mail back, which while wasn't exactly insubordinate, was certainly not terribly polite.

Anyway, I'm also grateful for another senior trainer, who was the voice of reason in the sea of chaos. He cleared up the air with regard to the whole incident, and he quickly calmed the whole situation down with his words of wisdom and clear focus. Certainly made me feel bad about lashing out in anger without really trying to understand the other party.

Yep. That more or less sums up the day. Went to Woodlands Stadium for some exercise with Paolo, Victor, Bethia, Calebs Leow and Leng, Jan and Frankie. Running wasn't too bad, 'cept for the last bit, in which I think I strained a muscle. (More like my entire upper leg muscle group, but that makes me sound like a sissy). Yep. Frankie led the PT after that, and I could only do a bit before that crampy feeling came upon me. You know, the kind where if you move your leg more in a certain direction, you know confirm the muscle will cramp up? Yeah. So I had to "fall out". That's what the amount of exercise I did, or rather, the lack of it, will lead to. Bummer.

Now I'm finishing off, with muscles that aren't quite functioning at 100% thanks to Frankie's regime, so if there are any typos in the entry, please understand. Haha.

Cheerio

Today

Today had a normal day, just that it involved going to church and worshipping heh... Was on ushering duty this morning, so couldn't really get into the jive, if you get my drift, but hey, I think it was pretty ok.

Oh yeah, one more thing about ushering is that I told Susan I'm going to stop. The worship schedule clashes too often with the ushering schedule, and at any rate, I don't think I'm really cut out to be an usher, what with lousy PR skills... haha... Sorry Sulwyn, looks like the Youth Usher team for 2nd week 9AM service is left to you... haha...

Anyway, spent a rather monotonous next couple of hours stoning in church. Thinking back, perhaps I should have gone up to do a proper worship. But anyway, I wandered over to the Civic centre side to pass Grace something. (Actually to drop it off at her place, but no one was home, and I'm not terribly keen on leaving one of my books on someone's doorstep)

Wasn't very hungry during lunch, so passed my coupon to Cheryl, then when to eat some other junk food from behind church. Following which we all headed over to Causeway Point (Again!) to eat ice-cream. Only six of us though. Aggie, Edmund, Jie, Zoey, Rachel and me. A bit sad, since quite a few of our people couldn't make it. But this time Aggie shared to pay, so it wasn't as pocket burning as the previous time. And the apple crumble, while a tad expensive, was really quite good.

Then we went back to church, cos got a meeting. Very short one. I like it that way, not like the ones I have to go to in army, a bit long winded... haha... P. Jabez is really quite focused on what we have to talk about.

Yep, then after that went back. Got a chance to talk to Nemo on the way back, can catch up, since hardly meet. Was tempted to go check out the new MechAssault 2, but she was telling me not to waste money... haha... oh well...

So yeah. Here I am, typing furiously(speed, not temperement) on the comp, getting worried cos my grandfather went to hospital. Bummer... hope he gets well... prob due to the si ham he ate in the char kway teow...

Cheerio

Orange

Have you ever experienced an orange time?

Perhaps you are unsure as to what that is. It's that time of the day, when the room is filled with the amber beams of the setting sun; when no matter how much noise there is being made, it still just seems so quiet; where everything seems to slow down, as if the honey coloured light that diffuses through the windows imbues the air with the viscosity of it's descriptive namesake...

It's that time when a sort of sleepy calmness fills the air, sleepy, yet not lethargic, as if there is a call to ignore the rigours of a fast-paced working life, to just sit aside, watch the gently falling dust glinting in the slanted rays of radiance, to marvel at the beauty of the world, to realize that there must be a God who can create all this, and to listen to Him speak... A time to pray... A time to reflect.... To hear that small tiny voice that we so often ignore, preferring to try to do things our way...

Just for you whenever you experience the orange time. Just sit back, unwind a spot, and hear the voice of the Lord calling you back to Him...

I really must be getting old, getting all sentimental like that...

Cheerio

New

New Year's Eve fell on a Friday this year, and I'm not sure why, but there was no watchnight service, which we all usually attend to have a time of sharing and thanksgiving before heralding the arrival of the new year. And for me, there's lots of things to be thankful to God for.

First off is the completion of both my OCS and JCC courses. The OCC was not impossible to clear, but there had been times when I hadn't quite made the cut last year, and the fear of failure and getting knocked out of course was always hanging over me, like Damocles' sword. JCC was tough too, what with unreasonable instructors and a permanent tendency for the weather to turn bad just as we leave the camp. Especially with the arrogance that all young cadets have, untempered by experience, that left us with no food on the last two days of our survival phase... But through God's grace, me and most of my platoon mates pulled through, albeit with several mishaps and injuries, but nothing major.

Second would be the friends that God has blessed me with. There are so many; Joshua, who's always been a guiding light; Farand, a stedfast supporter; Jess, a mutual shopping kaki; Aggie, who forced me to open up; Yongling, a small girl who's more naggy than my mum; Vera, always bringing a smile to me...etc... like I said, there really are too many to list out in a single entry.

Third would be the CG that has become mine. After Jiehuai decided that he wanted to leave Youth, I was pushed into the leadership position. And while I was apprehensive at first, I thank God for the oppurtunity to be able to lead ArkRoyal. We have even been able to send out Sulwyn and Jan to lead a new Sec 1 CG, and I have full confidence in their abilities and their walk with Christ. Also that they remembered my birthday. Honestly, this is only the second time that people in church remember my birthday. (Previous year also have, but that was sort of marred by the fact that I was leaving for ROC). Really grateful to and for you guys.

And finally, that God has given us protection here in Singapore. Almost everyone by now would have heard of the Earthquake/Tsunami that has torn through South Asia and reached East Africa. Seeing the images of the carnage, I felt that devestation would have been an understatement. Needless to say, the disaster cast a sombre mood over the Christmas/New year period. Death toll as of this morning stood at 150,000 people dead, and it's still rising. In Red Alert, Stalin said,"When one man dies, it's a tragedy. When a thousand die, it's a statistic." And in a perverse kind of way, it is true. However, when you see the picture of a man faced with the 'damned if you do, damned if you don't' choice of saving either his wife or child, the wailing mother discovering the body of her son, the blue fingernailed hand of a dead child sticking out from under a white covering, you can feel the massive sense of loss that these people feel. As Pastor Shern said last night, in Isaiah 55:8 "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the LORD. We will never understand why it happened. All we can do will be to pick up the pieces and continue moving forward, trusting in God.

In remembrance of the victims of the Tsunami disaster, as well as my Grand uncle, who died in his sleep on the last day of 2004.