Monday, May 23, 2005


Stupid stupid stupid.

I don't know why I thought as I did, or why I did what I did, but I did do it. In my impetousness and foolishness, I did not think of the consequences, did not think about how the other party would feel, but merely barged ahead with what I had to say.

Perhaps that single mindedness ought to have given me sufficient warning that something was amiss. Such focus and determinationcould mean that I had received a real calling from God. But when you consider what it was I wanted to say, it would have been obvious to the most dull-witted person around that it was not God-breathed, and this meant that it was birthed of the foul deceiver.

And the wonderful result of my idiocy was that I managed to hurt someone I held dear to me. One of the people I know I can depend on, one whom I know I can confide in, and in my selfish short-sightedness, I took away the support I should have given, and struck her.

How is it that I could have allowed such a lapse in my guard, to allow the insidiousness of the evil one to infiltrate so easily, and even then, how could I have allowed myself to become a tool in his cursed hands, and give my beloved sister reason to grieve?

Stupid stupid stupid

Wednesday, May 18, 2005


It's been a while since I last put up a post, and during that period between, I managed to go to Japan and return. And I must admit, although I came back home early this morning, I already miss the place.

What can I say? I know I'm suffering from post trip syndrome already. And knowing it doesn't make it any easier to bear. Even though we were on a mission there, I managed to have quite a good time. And I can safely say that my faith in God has increased dramatically, which is a lot for a skeptical Christian. (Quite an oxymoron that, innit?) I have learned to trust Him in all that I do, and to know that whatever happens, it is due to His incomparable wisdom.

One of our goals was for at least one person to accept Christ while we were there. It was amazing, but we managed to achieve 5 times as much. And though we lived with each other for about 2 weeks, team unity was still maintained. Pretty neat huh.

We stayed with the Lau family over there, the missionaries from our church. They were excellent hosts, providing us witth everything we may have needed, and then some. Without them, I think we would have caused more confusion and stuff than anything.

We met up with some of the local churches there, and helped them a spot in their ministry. It was really good to see that Christianity is able to start making a niche in Japan, however small it may be. We met friends also, Shion and Hitomi, Ando, Yuji, Mayumi, Emiko, Kaita... plus of course, there was the Lau family, Uncle Louis and Auntie Chris, Justin and Jeremy.

Oh yeah, before I forget, this is the team, in case I haven't mentioned it yet. Jabez was team leader, Angela was the Food and Worship IC, Aggie was Prayer IC, Jan was in charge of Logistics, Grace was the secretary, and Sulwyn was the Treasurer. Just like a 7-men section...

Anyway, we went around tracting, acting out mimes, sharing... etc... the street musician idea failed pretty miserably, partially due to it being out of fashion, and also due to my own ineptness... ah well... If not, I daresay we did help out in the work that needed to be done over there, even when we somehow managed to squeeze in time to act like tourists somewhere along the way...

It's a lovely country, and we were able to enjoy alot of the wonders of the place, due to the clear air, the train windows, and the friendliness and hospitality of the people... I really can't put it down in words lah...

Anyway, most, if not all of us are presently suffering from post trip syndrome, which was why we had to meet up just now for movie, and also why right now I'm feeling a spot depressed... such a bummer... Some more tomorrow I have to go back to camp to work... sian...